Exams are already half over.

Though the hardest one is coming on Monday, we can finally see the end of the tunnel and feel relieved! Yay!

For the recent few weeks I've been haunted by the almost incessant "oooooh"s from my close friends - not directed to me, but at someone else, and I really felt like strangling them at various times. And this is also part of the reason I want to get away from hostel during this exam period because I can't stand this bunch of friends - insensitive, or putting fun and another friend prior to my sake.

Whoever said that if someone got over a crush, associating someone else with that crush will not make her heart skip a beat?

My heart is still full of anger and anguish and exasperation and disbelief. Urgh.

I am so disgusted by you, the people who sleep within 5 meters of me almost every night.

Screw this shit.

Haven't been blogging for a really loooong time, and now it's April. 3 months have passed.

Research Congress + SSEF, birthday, March holidays over. Now it's project time! Have been getting 4 hours of sleep for at least half the week, revising for things like Chem test, Mol Gen quiz and doing tedious homework like mindmaps =.= I need a lifespan refund...

For something much more recent, we had April birthday celebration today, chocolate fondue with other things. No marshmallow, but there were jackfruits and durian puffs! <3 And then things erupted into a mini-concert, but then *cough-cough* I didn't really listen to Ya Wen play much because of environmental factors... Just felt so extra there.

Then I went to Ivy's room after showering and seeing a very interesting email... TLL!!!! But the interesting part was the calibre of the others who got in as well... And if I ran to Ivy's room after seeing that email, you can guess what it may be about... Well! We shall see! xD

Talked about lots of things; I kind of ended off talking about my classmates' encounters with teachers outside school haha. Also Mr Lim's Las Vegas adventure.

A lot of things have happened since the last time I posted. I signed up for all ARP opportunities (simply.crazy.) and liked another guy (yeah not again -.-) not really worth mentioning but still. Then my roommate and her *cough-cough* had some "progress" that I simply disapprove of. AHHH!

Wanna sleep early today because there isn't any important thing to revise/hand up for tomorrow. Maybe... Wei Qi just finished showering.

Getting more and more depressed with the hostel and school environment.

The song Nocturne by Secret Garden began to play. On a whim, I decided to find a song that shares a similar melodic phrase (somewhere in the middle) as found in Nocturne on Youtube. It was a theme song from a Korean historical drama that is based on Korean mythology. The drama is called The Legend (태왕사신기), and the song is 千年戀歌.

The video I found and clicked on turned out to be a video montage about the moments shared between the male lead character, Damdeok, and one of the female leads, Sujini. Then I got curious and pulled out the English Wikipedia page for the drama. Reading the synopsis made me cry, though it was not the first time I read it.

Damdeok was involved with Kiha and it was only at the end that he realized that all along he loved Sujini, his best friend, instead of Kiha.

I cried for Sujini while I listened to the Korean song and watched those moments of them together. Then my mind wandered. The actress playing Sujini, Lee Ji-ah, also starred in a drama called Beethoven Virus. Her character, Du Rumi, was romantically involved with the orchestra maestro, Kang Gun-woo, who was a cold and uncaring person. Their fate turned out to be a peaceful break-up (at least I think so, don't really understand what the open ending may mean), as the maestro could not bear to be dependent on another person. Lee Ji-ah played the role of an unrequited lover in both dramas.

Then a voice in my head nudged me to revisit those scenes in Beethoven Virus. I went to a drama viewing website and clicked on Episode 14 since its thumbnail looked promising. However it turned out to be a disappointment. Then the preview for Episode 15 came and I was captivated.

Half an hour into Episode 15, the maestro initiated a break-up. Something hit me then. Something about the maestro was similar to me. Both of us were cold on the outside, were lonely people and wanted to keep up a facade. I couldn't take it anymore so I shut the computer down and went into another room to avoid my brother.

Then more things hit me. Unrequited love was something I was more moved by than Edward Cullen's thoughts. I craved for loneliness and unrequited love. Sujini from The Legend, Du Rumi from Beethoven Virus, Yoon Jihoo from Boys Over Flowers and so on - these were what I was most sympathetic of and moved by.

So my inner self craved for such things ever since young? Even when I was having four separate crushes at the same time?

Maybe I shouldn't have ventured this far and discover this inner self of mine...